by Sherry Mott, Central Washington Chapter Director
Answering Jesus’ call to care for the vulnerable has pushed me outside my comfort zone countless times and deepened my dependence on Him, but little did I know there was still more growth. A transformational process that involved pruning and refining that I was not prepared for. My desire to obey and please God would require laying down things I didn’t even realize I was holding onto to fulfill the work God had called me to.
It was early November when I received a call from a mom in her thirties struggling with substance abuse. She didn’t trust herself because of the hold this addiction had over her life. A horrible car wreck that she and her young son were able to walk away from was the beginning of a wake-up call for her. Still, even that was not enough to stop the stronghold of addiction.
Through tears, the mom poured out her story, struggles, and attempts to get clean. She shared her feeling that everyone had given up on her; her attempts to get help had been met with cynicism from people she cared about and silence from her Church. She was shocked by how hard it was to get into rehab. Outpatient care had not worked, so she knew that inpatient care was necessary. She also knew that being accepted as an inpatient would require relocating out of town.
The list of barriers preventing her from completing rehab long including the fear of being seperated from her young son because “rehab was no place for a young child.” However, this mom worried that she couldn’t be successful without him because she would miss me too much. She also expressed how frustrating it was that the theology of the Church didn’t match her reality after multiple attempts at reaching out were left unanswered.
In God’s perfect timing, He had planted Ministry Leads in the Church she was attending, and her pleas for help ended with a referral to Safe Families for Children Central Washington. There was a four-month waiting period to get into a rehab that would allow her son to go with her. While we waited, we introduced her to her Circle of Support (COS) and began relationship-building. This young mom shared her story and experienced grace. She ended the meeting by saying how grateful she was for all these people who wanted to help and support her. It was beautiful to see her experiencing the Church as a place where believers stand in the gap for people in crisis and to see those beliefs acted out in true Christ-like love.
A few weeks later, I received a call that a spot had unexpectedly opened at rehab. If she said yes, she would need to enter rehab by herself, and her son would join her as soon as possible. She needed to take this opportunity or risk waiting months for another opening. It was two days before Christmas, and I knew it would be impossible for her to choose to go to rehab if it meant separation from her son on Christmas. I pleaded with the facility intake manager to make an exception and hold her spot for a few more days until after Christmas, and they agreed.
I immediately called to give her the news. She admitted that she was scared but was excited to go and asked if I could watch her son so that she could talk to her family and start preparing to go. After an extended period of time not hearing from her, she check in and I reassured her that I wasn’t giving up on her. Her little guy was safe with a Host Family, and we would be closely watching out for him. It would be fine if she wanted to go home and sleep, and we could get things sorted out in the morning.
The series of events that unfolded next included the drug task force, a search warrant, the cops, a well-child check with CPS, and a mutual decision that waiting till after Christmas was no longer a safe option. Because of the events the night before, we agreed it would be best for her to go to rehab the next day. My heart broke that she wouldn’t be able to spend Christmas with her boy. She was not in a good place, so I offered a Host Family for her and her son to be safe and together until I could drive her to rehab the next day.
However, the chaos continued the next day. While I was driving Mom to get the help she needed, people showed up at my residence, waking up my husband, who had been working all night. What I thought would be the day of beautiful new beginnings for someone who desperately wanted to be set free turned into a trial that would never end. It continued with the defamation of my character, accusations, and assumptions being spread like wildfire, more cops, another police station visit, and learning that Grandma had been given custody of the boy.
I felt so responsible. I had tried to help, and yet her worst fear–being separated from her son–seemed to be happening. In the days that followed, people I didn’t know expressed frustration toward me for doing my job and following the laws. They only knew half the story but seemed content to make harsh judgments without asking questions. The series of events and custody battle that continued to unfold eventually led to my breakup with an addiction I didn’t know I had.
Yes, my desire to please Jesus had led to sacrificing things I valued, but until this refining began, I didn’t realize what I was still withholding from Him. My time, talents, and treasures were easy to surrender in comparison, but when Satan went for my comfort, my people, and my safety, my soul crumbled. I was doing this work because I knew it was what Jesus had asked of me, so how could everything I had sacrificed be so misconstrued? This painful sifting process separated what is helpful to God from what is not. While my desire to love others well was right and good, my need for others to understand distracted my ability to follow God. Jesus wanted me to lay it all down.
Watching others condemn and walk away from me gave me a new perspective and empathy for the families we serve. How easily we allow misunderstandings to cause us to despise or treat with contempt the people Jesus loves and died for. God has shown me the beauty of not allowing someone else’s actions towards you, which are rooted in their past trauma experience, to affect the way you treat them. There is beauty in loving people who don’t love you back because it makes us more like Jesus.
Looking back now, I can see that the judge ordering half-time with mom and half-time with family for our little man gave Mama more time to focus on her health and healing. The frustrated family, in time, expressed gratitude for all we did, an answer to many prayers. Almost eight months after checking her into rehab, we are still cheering her on and doing life with her. She walked the hard road to get out from under her addiction, get a new place to live, and is doing well at her new job.
Jesus helped me realize that while my addiction to my comfort and safety seemed inconsequential, it has hindered me from following God into hard places—the place where many of the families we serve dwell. God showed me what is possible when we stop listening to fear and authentically place our trust in Him, even when nothing makes sense. In my 40-something years of sitting in church, never have I known God more intimately nor believed more strongly in the power of prayer. Never have I felt His presence so tangibly. He opened my eyes to the beauty of trusting Him in the hardest of places and set me free to see that with Him, I was safe all along.
“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, because You are with me.” Psalms 23:4